Monday, 27 February 2012

a drop in the ocean

a drop in the small gotta start many phrases apply to that first tiny action that will propel us outta the stratosphere!..right?...erm... well maybe...

effort and surrender...the keys to the dance and rhythm of life...a vital part of how to play the game, to surf the yin and yang of all that arises for us at every moment...yet how do we know when to let go and surrender, and when to buck up and put a little more energy in?! much is our responsibility and when does dear old ego get a lil in the way??!

this puzzling dynamic of effort and surrender has been a constant questioning for many years for me...if i put too much effort into the pot, then am i pushing against the flow too hard, using my will to force life to roll my way?...eventually exhausting myself and having to spin a thousand plates in a constant one eye open kinda way!!...i have done this, many times, imposing over to get 'there'...and surrender has, quite frankly, scared the hell outta me...why?...because to be honest, for many years surrender has been associated in my mind with collapse..i have been scared that if i do let go of the reins, that old control keeping the engine roaring, then theres no way to go but down..down to the ground with a not so elegant crash!! (and can you seriously imagine the sound of all that crockery shudders at the thought!!)

dramatic? maybe..but truthful too...interestingly though, another word for 'collapse' is to 'yield', and that my lovelies, i feel is part of the secret to surrendering...what does to yield mean?..according to my online thesaurus, ooh get me! ;-), this implies the wondrous ability to 'bow to', 'to give oneself over to', to relax, to relenquish, and, aha!, to 'go with the flow'!

how do we apply this to life though? what does it all mean??
well firstly, we really do need to be present, to be at home, to be living in our body...we need to have a container to live and experience our life in, to hold and support the rollercoaster of the journey..indeed, it is well known that before undertaking a strong pranayama practice (extending and retaining our life force via the breath) it is recommended that our body be fired like a clay pot, or else we are in trouble! we wont be able to contain the strength and potency of our vitality, our spirit...

so, as i call it, lets start by 'showing up'...thats a given!..what next?...well next we wanna direct our energy, to our dreams, our job, our tasks, our relationships, basically to any part of our take action we need to have an intention and give our attention to that which we face towards..however, its not enough...we cant then just sit down, make a brew or grab a port and give ourselves a pat on the my friends, something else is needed here...and that is..commitment...ah yes...our engagement, responsibility, and essentially our pledge to give effort to that particular step

now heres the alchemy part, that final ingredient that links effort and surrender together....we stay every moment, every breath, to each impulse that pulses and makes our heart sing, and at the same time, we follow and give attention and dedicated effort to our actions...moving back and forth between listening and work, between being and doing....between letting go into the knowing that holds all, and the willingness to create with every part of us alive and awake...thats the way to dance our life...not easy, and not always possible...but a great blueprint my friends!

so that one lil step, that one small drop in the ocean, if done mindfully, with awareness and engagement, will open up a whole new landscape for us to relax into and, in that moment, we can pause, offer gratitude, and wait for that next lil whisper of knowing, before taking that just one more step into life..lets not miss a moment folks xxx

Wednesday, 8 February 2012

hello bud(dy)!

lil bud photo taken saturday 4th feb

i have a little plant that sits on my bedroom window ledge..she has been there minding her own business since last july..she doesnt ask for much, or complain or need too much fussing over...a pretty independent lil thing!...and she has never ever flowered before! imagine my surprise and utter delight when throwing open the curtains to greet a bright yet freezing cool day, i was greeted by the sight of this pink, petaled wonder :-)...and she has companions too, other lil buds are making there way through, up and out to say 'good day!' to the lush rich tapestry of one of manchester's busiest city centre streets

why now dear bloom? what on earth made this little wonder decide 'it's time!', and wake up from its 100 year sleep (a slight nod to olde sleeping beauty there!)...being of mystical mind i like to believe that the dawning of imbolc (the return of the light) a few days earlier reminded her to put on her glad rags and opt out of the dark comfort of inward dwelling! who knew that waiting inside of all this lush greenery a pink petalled flower was about to make her debut!

can you feel it in the air dear ones? a kinda pulse to awaken, to jump outta bed and say a big 'yes!' to the waiting world...with the return of the light its time to shake the sleep outta our bones, to open our eyes and tentatively and tenderly say 'hello' again to life...not too fast i might add, but gently, mindfully and listening to the impulses that point the way forwards...i have begun to write again, to journal and reflect upon my intentions that i wish to give attention to for the year question what desires lie trembling with excitement at my heart

but how to direct those first steps? what do we need to have as our companions on this journey? so thinking about the lil bud again i came up with these qualities to guide us through this time:

guts (are flowers brave?!)
and a willingness to shine

hmmm...sounds like quite a treasure chest of life skills to me :-)

offer yourself to life my lovelies, take that your uniqueness you offer something of yourself into the matrix and weave of the universe...something only you can make doesnt have to be huge, or life changing, or even noticed, but its you and thats truly a wondrous special and precious take a step, just the one for brave! xxx

oh, by the way, since i took that photo of lil bud on saturday, she has bloomed into a rather sumptuous divine flower...who knew hey, who knew! xxx