autumn alchemy retreat

this weekend's theme is 'preparing to rest our bones'...a time to begin honouring the journey inwards, to gently hold what may be in the way for us to rest, to sigh deeply in surrender, and to allow the darkening months to replenish and nurture what we bring into its depths..this is a weekend of movement (yoga and dance), rest (meditation and relaxation), and play (art making, delicious food, and gorgeous company)..all held in the delightful countryside surroundings of our venue...

the retreat holds 9 of us in journey together over the weekend...booking is essential..all welcome

for more info, or to book your place, contact me at dragonflyyoga666@hotmail.com or on 07796 420465

'awake'

'shakti spirit rising'

'bird woman'

new art prints of these paintings now available from my etsy shop xxx

the raw material of life and art

'them bones need a tending to'

tuesday evening and as the police sirens, helicopters and a dissatified and disillusioned youth created their dance of chaos outside on the streets of the city, 4 folk gathered at 'home studio' for one of my twice monthly 'alchemy art salons'...

it seemed appropriate to ask 'do we want to be here?'...perhaps the desire to settle back into the comfort of our own abodes may have been calling...and yet all of us said 'yes!'...why?...a strong impulse not to run away in fear, to turn our backs helplessly, the consensus was that maybe, just maybe, we could do our bit to add some healing and love...to use the creative energy inherent in us to create a little bit of love for the city we live in... and so we did, offering out our evenings play as our response to the craziness surrounding us...

and we danced, and shook our bones..we breathed deeply allowing the full feeling to flood through our limbs.. and we painted where we were and what we felt...

last night i watched the beautiful and moving documentary 'breath made visible'...an inspiring film of the life of dancer and visionary anna halprin...one of the comments she made in response to a challenging event in her life really struck me:
' what you do have control over is how you cope with what happens...art is one way...its not the only way...but its my way...'

here here sister! it doesnt matter what your 'art' is...for anna her art was her dance...its all about using what we have to create..it doesnt have to be 'perfect' or 'professional'...its simply making something out of the raw material of life...so grab your guitar, put on your tap shoes, choose your favourite writing tool..and let it flow, freely, with passion, and with curiousity, and see what your soul can offer in service to not only your life and heart, but that of the world around you...

make art of your life...and life of your art xxx

come to the edge...

''come to the edge he said.
they said: we are afraid.
come to the edge he said.
they came.
he pushed them,
and they flew''

guillame apollinaire

now let me explain something here...i have been stood at the 'edge' many times in my life...and no, i am not referring to the magical scape of alderley edge park! (a very witchy sacred pagany spot in cheshire, greater manchester)..nor am i talking about engaging in conversation over a mean whisky with the other one from U2!!....i mean the 'EDGE', that place where familiarity stops and the vastness of the unknown looms large and, well, unfamiliar before you...

at this point i have noticed i gave myself 2 options, both of which i have to admit with a certain amount of misplaced pride, to having explored many many times before: to run back down the hill (or whatever, metaphorically wordlike one would use to describe the land most trodden on and ever so slightly tired of), or to grab on to something, someone, til my fingers have turned white, eyes squeezed so tightly shut that not even a tear could breathe, and hope to god that this 'other' has more idea than i have about this, quite frankly, terrifying terrain!!

neither option works

bah!!

this week i learnt dear ones, that actually there does happen to be another way...a third option...one that requires, me thinks, just the right amount of pink fluffy cojones energy!...tho if you are a boy then make that blue..he he..perhaps blue balls doesnt necessarily have the same connotation!..but the feathers are important...never mind what colour your, ahem, balls are!!

what if you knew, nay, not knew, but trusted, just a little, just enough, that if you jumped that you would be supported? what if you could, in the midst of the confusion, the doubts, all the excuses why not, find a moment to offer yourself up, in that place, with all of your beating heart, your sweat, your will? what if, without having to know what was there, you just did it...just jumped!..or stepped!...or hopped!...whatever mode of transport feels the way for you to step out into that space...

along with a tribe of treasured beings, i did just that, and you know what?...i didnt die...and amazingly, superbly and wondrously...in that moment, held by the hand and grace of god, i flew...and my goodness, i wondered afterwards, maybe, just maybe, i could do that again!!!

oodles of creativity

photos of lovely beings getting crafty and creative over the last few weekends...the 'tending the fire within', yoga and creative expression retreat, in yorkshire.... and the first 'alchemy art play day: making dream boxes'...wonderful, inspiring and joyful!

when i grow up im gonna be....

star

there is a star out there..yes out there in the darkest, blackness of the infinite night sky...that if you look with a certain manner, and gaze with your heart wide wide open, will shine so so brightly for you, on you, with you...that your breath will gasp in bedazzled wonderment...this is your star..its always been there..ever since you were born..shining out at you wherever you have strayed..a beloved friend..a shining light.. a guide...

when we are little we are asked so often..'so, what do you want to be when you grow up?'..maybe we know, strongly insistent on becoming a ballerina, a vet, an astronaut...maybe we are lucky and thats what we become..that conviction of who we are and what we want to offer the world remaining fed and nurtured by ourselves, and others around us...yet maybe we forget, or are told we cannot, or should not, or some other means of dampening the magic from our soul...and then we grow up and something is missing, or theres always an inkling, that you cant quite put your finger on..too many other voices in your head now...

but what if we do know, really know, deep down within every cell of our being, who we are, what we are here to give, in our own unique dance, as an offering of our spirit to the world?...what if we have a sense that we are something more than perhaps we have been feeling or living but we do not know what that might be?...how do we find that part of us again?...

well..we can find that lil star...search for it...bask in its glow, its haven, its light...and how do we do this?..by focusing our attention on it, not on the thoughts or stories that tell their tales over and over like a loudcrier condemned..no...shift your focus..yeah just a lil to the right..thats it.. up a bit..ahh! there you go..theres the star..quiet and still and full of wonder and wisdom to make every one of your bones swell and your eyes to shine so so bright as you recall your souls dreams, waiting to be borne as spirits dance, through your beauty...

am pretty certain that the lil acorn has no idea that its star that shines down on it knows it is to become the magnificence of the oak tree...thats just what its gonna be when it grows up!

shine lil one...thats why you are here...

down the rabbit hole

firebird woman

midsummer nearly rises to its peak once again (tho astonishingly someone forgot to tell the weather control person!!) and with the earths fire crackling and dancing i find myself echoing this deep rooted desire to burn baby burn!

now i dont mean necessarily on the disco dancefloor, tho i do have the best new shoes for the job ;-)...its just this lil itch that has been rising up my spine for ever such a while now... its an itch aflame that no doctors potion could douse.. and why the hell would i wanna put it out anyhow?!

last week i arrived back from retreat time in beautiful andalucia with my beloved teacher and dear journeying sisters still vibrating their wisdom, joy and support deep in my bones and heart...words cannot do justice to the medicine my soul receives from this work..it simply lays itself out in deepest gratitude and humility to the wonder of it all...and yet, once returning to the delights of manchester city centre (did i really say 'delights'??!) i have been feeling the integration process such a struggle...

its like i have just taken a trip down the rabbit hole as our friend alice once did, or ventured deep into the back of the wardrobe to find a new land a la narnia..the kind of doorways that once opened are hard to really dismiss and simply return to seeing the world in quite the same way once more...perception has shifted..new vision has been granted.. and magic has begun to seep its potion into our soul...

and this landing can be bumpy, tricky and confusing...'who am i?',' where am i?',' what happens now?' and, my kinda mantra this week: 'what the fuck??!!!'

to codify the words that have been playing like some existential play to an audience of one not so highly amused lil chica would probably need for me to be writing til dawn and probably losing, not just the few readers who have taken an interest in my blog (thanking you kindly ;-)), but also my mind as well.. and as i am starting to reign in the reins of chaos that have been allowed to run amok for the last week, i will not endeavour to reopen that particular chain of thought...but i will note tho, that i realise more and more how surrender and trust, with a sprinkling of patience, and a healthy dose of 'beshet' (a wonderful yiddish word i cant stop using right now...kinda translates as 'this is just how it is!'..tho has to be accompanied with a kinda jewish shrug and hand gesture that must be a gift to us of jewish blood!!) is all i need right now as i settle back into my life...i am opening in some ways to the unknown.. and the crazy thing is...i think this unknown, tho filling this lil control freak with something really to freak about, is the sweetness of a soul filled authentic life!

the image i have posted above is the result of my practice a few days ago..feeling like some kinda deranged gal, offering up myself as a prayer to that which is bigger than me, i danced and softened and opened and felt myself like a newly hatched baby bird.. all wings aflapping..yet with a firey edge.. a bit like a phoenix one might suggest.. and yet a firey phoenix energised winged creature not yet trusting letting go into flight...nearly, and yet not yet...and as i created like a dervish for the next few hours my firebird woman, i ponder the question...as i stand at this edge...'how the hell do i let go into flight??'...

to be continued...