yoga and art offerings xxx

 

for the last few months i have been doodling some lil sketches and musing some words to accompany them...i am delighted to offer an alternative seasonal/ festive card for your loved ones...each cream card is printed with one of my original drawings, and comes packaged with a matching envelope and sealed in a plastic cover...the great bonus is that once received, there is no need to throw away or recycle...simply frame your little print and you have your own piece of yoga and wisdom inspired artwork!...magic!!

i offer the cards individually (2.50 pounds), or as a set of 5 (10 pounds), or how about 20, some for you and some to send out :-)...this latter option is at 18 pounds

to order simply list the quantity and alphabet letter e.g. 2 x B, 1 x F, 3 X G etc...easy peasy xx

i also offer a range of prints and little handmade books...you choose the design and i will craft it for you...lovely for a little gift of inspiration to carry around in your purse....these handmade books are 7 pounds each, or 2 for 12 pounds

for further browsing click here :-)

please do not hesitate to get in contact for any further info or just simply to say 'hola' 

thank you for your support

xxx

 

falling with grace

 falling

to fall

to drop effortlessly gliding down down to play the weighted game of gravity's surf...no more holding on..no need..it is time...time to let go..to let it go...nothing more is needed now, thank you for your service, hang up your pinny on the way out and put down that endless list that never got tick tocked off...

all we have to do is breathe...breathe out and with the sigh flees all that is ready...ready to fly the nest, nested for ages old within waiting, just awaiting for the lil inner bird call that sweetly tweets 'its time'...a bare whisper that bares all thats needs to be known...'its time'..at the door, all packed up with an empty suitcase, tickets in hand, one way, way down, or up, or in a kinda helter skelter wind blown autumn laughter in the park way..it doesnt really matter, noone minds...its all a dance

letting go...the sweet toothed surrender into the empty place...ready to be dissolved into the next adventure...

letting go...of the grip that grips great tightness...through the veils..like the gossamer scarves of the mysterious gypsy siren..one by one they fall...like the shining scaled scales of the sacred dragon, felt fear finally fated, softened through prayer and tears, through love and tender holding, until they fall one by one, flinted petals until only bare flesh, nay, the translucence of pulsing life is left standing..raw to the touch, new born, oh so innocent and ancient in its stories...

like alice who fell down that hole and was never the same again...theres no choice..when you hear the whisper 'its time'...

fall 

falling

with grace..with hands held with love and knowing and breath and angels and faith and trust and tenderness and the knowing that the call is the call to the surrender of the old life

wait in line...dance in line...and like the leaf...when the time comes wear your snazziest most spark flame popping hue

time to surrender..give up give in to the call...call to arms, to arm with wings that which needs to lay to rest..marked forever by descansos, by memory, by time, by crossroads of moments collected and collated in the giant map of marvellous things... 

why hold on...from our grubby fingers let go...let go...let go...as we empty lightness comes..as we empty lift off inevitable...all the feathers of the feathered pillow pillowed fought out...empty case, cotton and fresh and filled with where we laid our heads..and yet the carpet fills with feathers, of a creature not yet formed but waiting to take shape, in the dark shadows of the dawn light

fall with grace

its the only way to go

aho

xxx 

new illustrations xxx

 

''she wished she had never told the unicorn that is was rude to point''....print of original illustration available here

''while she was taking a siesta, little fish with sharp teeth ate her tail''....print of original illustration available here

oh what joy! rediscovering the wondrous possibilities of a wandering fine tipped pen and a mind given free rein to drop deep down into the shadow realms of dark!...i love fairy tales, and mythical creatures...horror films and the macabre...the subversive and the beauty found in the seemingly 'ugly'...these illustrations speak a thousand words to and from my soul out into the big wide strange world...a new direction for me and one i look forwards to stepping into deeper and deeper...time to follow alice down the rabbit hole :-)

xxx

the heart and art of being a human being xxx

''it's all a sukha dukha rollercoaster!!''

i love that phrase, courtesy of one of my darling yogini friends, it basically means, a ride of both the uplifting sweetly delightful (sukha) up moments as well as the unpleasant suffering (dukha) down moments too!...

this last weekend, as the seasons shift of the cyclical year marked the autumn equinox, i attended a weekend long dance workshop lead by the softly souled andrew holmes, which was all about the landscape of the heart...we were exploring this realm of feelings, namely, fear, anger, sadness, joy and compassion...you know, just the usual human range of emotions :-)

the rollercoaster analogy served me well as the dance opened the doorways to delve deep into the hues and timbre of each of these feelings and their corresponding presence in the texture of my body...so much was learned, felt, uncovered and discovered and like the proverbial accordion, time will open out and reveal further insights

however i was struck by something that permeated through the weekends diving...the echo of which whispers its way through the weave of all my beloved practices, whether yoga, meditation, art making, writing or dance...and it's this: 

that everything we experience, all that we feel, is simply a colour and pattern of energy that momentarily wishes to move through us...if we allow it to, it shifts and changes into something else; if we resist it or deny it, or get soo fixated upon it, then it gets stuck, cant move for love nor toffee, its presence overstaying its welcome and creating a possible distortion of the pathways within us...a bit like a traffic jam (is it just me that is fascinated by how traffic jams begin?? is it really the fault of one slow rolling vehicle that a few miles trailing creates a startling out of proportional backlog of barely moving traffic???!! does anyone actually even care???!!!!)...anyways i digress!

so...the point seems to be, whatever we feel, requires us to meet it with a sense of curiousity, acknowledgement and kindness...if we soften into it, breathe into its offerings, treating it like a welcome guest, then we allow it to almost use our body as a stage...a space for it to express itself, perhaps wordlessly, with its own innate choreographer, showing us the greatest performance of soul with us as front seat ticket holders!! in giving what we feel space, and allowing this space to grow from the core of the feeling, out to our fingers and toes, and ultimately beyond our very physicality into the world around us, we become a host, a body almost possessed by the pure spirit of the particular energy...it is through the expression of this energy, that nothing can get stuck, or outstay its welcome!

this is what always amazes me post yoga practice..when once more connected and engaged i feel the vitality of my being right at the edges of my self...its when i feel that those edges have expanded even further, that i am not simply this blessed physical corpus, but that my essence expands further and beyond the realms of my edges...holding onto feelings, through shame, guilt, self consciousness or other tricky demons of doubt, denies our very humanness, and in a way stops us from offering ourselves, all of ourselves, to life!

i was struck at the weekend, when having the gracious priviledge of witnessing others dance and express each of these emotions, how we all show these human feelings of the heart in such different ways, and how mesmerizingly beautiful and touching that was to see...so my lovelies...dont hide away how you feel, dont stop showing others your hearts silent murmurs and cave deep screams...as you offer yourself, you become art, a vessel of spirit, and in that raw vulnerable place of saying 'this is me', we get to wow in wonder at the beauty of your soul

xxx

 

...gotta have faith ffaith ffaith! (tell em george!!)

welcome to the time of the year for letting go dear ones...the first harvesting, the time for re-assessment, and the brave acknowledgment of where, just maybe, we are getting in the way of it all goddamit!!!...a leap into the unknown, dropping the old mind, the old ways, and shaking things loose, all clears us ready to be filled anew for the journey towards the dark of the year :-)

the following quote, by the ever wise, ever inspiring pema chodron, has captured my attention this week and has been resonating and vibrating its wisdom through my bones...

''By not knowing, not hoping to know and not acting like we know what's happening, we begin to access our inner strength''

hmmm...not knowing hey?!...interesting as i have found that over the last few months a certain thought has been playing on repeat like a scratched vinyl record in my mind...''how do i do it!!''..or sometimes its cousin chimes in...''i dont know how to do it!!''...the key being the word 'how', and the belief that somehow it's 'i' that needs to, well, 'do it!' (whatever it is..lets say for arguements sake we will call 'it', 'life itself')...so, armed ready and willing to step deeper into the dance of life i feel like i stall at the first gateway...you see, as many of you might relate, i am one of those folk that, you might say, has the tiniest issue with being in control...i mean ever so slightly of course, needing everything and everyone to fit into my vision of how it should be!...i seem to hold this cherished idea of how life should be, what happens next, how you must behave, and woe betide if plans dont match mine!!...dont get me wrong, im no tyrant (at least i dont think i am and i am pretty sure that someone might have sat me down and pointed that out if so), but my need to control all aspects of my life means i need to 'know'...how, when, why, what etc...in fact the whole damn gamut!!...you see the more i am in control, the more, i have always believed, i am 'safe'...safe and secure from the uncertainties of life..those ghastly uncertainties that can truly mess up a chica's best made clipboard holding plans!!...gulp!

what i realise recently, and this came to me quite starkly in a recent meditation, is that by needing to know and control pretty much every aspect of my life doesnt leave any space for the magic, mystery and manifestation to appear..none...nada...zilch...gulp again!!...and in fact, its exactly these uncertainties that hold the key to life's mystery, magic and...erm...manifestations!...so, all those years of holding on tightly and putting everything into a box marked 'this is how it should be', has meant narrowing the tunnel of life's flow, just letting a trickle through, when a whole goddamn ocean of myriad delights has been passing me by!...bummer!!

not knowing hey?...shit thats scary!

you see, my old way had its reasoning folk...if i knew exactly how it was going to be then i could 'protect' myself...i could support myself and ensure that the troublesome experience of an unpredictable life couldnt hurt me, or disappoint me...and yet though this may be true i was in fact living in a separate little bubble...disconnected and certainly not deeply in relationship to life (which ironically i have been seeking and yearning for for many years)...you see, its this relationship to life, when we get outta the way of 'knowing' how it should be, tho filled with uncertainty, hurt, disappointment and chaos, also holds deep joy, love, connection, and the richness of human vulnerable engagement...its a whole spectrum of colours!

which brings me to the key 'friend' here...that as we drop a little more, putting down the clipboard, the plans, the 'how to's' and 'know hows', emptying our hands, unburdening our shoulders, hearts and mind, and offering ourselves into the spacious chasm of the gateway marked '??'...reach out your hand and ask for faith...as all the old false foundations of 'safety' come falling down, hold her hand tight and feel her support...we wont crumble and disappear...we cant lose ourselves if we feel our feet n bellies n heart...and we cant get lost if we ask her to guide and hold us...faith is our friend and the hand to rest into as we head out far far beyond the gateway marked 'unknown' xxx

as mister george michael said in one of his 80's moments

'i gotta have faith...!'

Finally I leave you with the words of rumi…a reminder of how to respond to life from a place of faith and not knowing xxx

‘sell your cleverness, and buy bewilderment’

Ho! x

being our own champion

unless you have been living under a rock, behind a tree, on the moon, or sailing the seven seas, it cannot have escaped your attention that the world, and particularly the UK, has been caught up in the frenzy of Olympic fever!...for just over 10 days now, this epic and iconic competition of what seems to me to be bionic super human feats, has been unraveling in a kaleidoscope of emotion, both the highs and lows...though not usually a sporting enthusiast, the moments i have sat down to watch have filled me with a mixture of awe, joy, bewilderment (erm...the steeplechase?? discus throwing ???) and at times have left me very moved indeed (Saturday nights triple gold anyone! :-))

with a cast of hundreds and the support of thousands, these athletes of adamantine proportions, and super glowing health seem to achieve the impossible...which got me to thinking...what is it that lifts us with such internal force and drive, to leap (in this case quite literally!) and go for...ahem...gold? :-) 

in the case of these god and goddess like Olympians, their preparation will have been incredibly consuming; countless hours, days, weeks and months of practice; the right diet and healthy living; focus, concentration and the willingness to dig deeper, further, and out n' beyond the 'edges'...

and yet, what strikes me as probably the most important thing, as seen so clearly on the faces of these athletes, is the sense of utter and total self belief!..it's palpable...not just in the diamond hard focus, but in the body language, the way a head is held up, chest open and lifted, and in the (probably) one thought that repeats like a mantra in their mind...''i am the champion..i can do this..i am the best!!''...not only this, but the support of the home crowd surely increases the energy and intent by a 1000%...we all know what it is like to have the support and 'go for it!' mentality of our friends and loved ones...it's like a power source, and one that we can plug into...it reminds me of practicing together with others...the experience seems to deepen the intensity of whatever we are doing...in fact it is said that chanting mantras with others increases their (what i like to call..) super power by 100!!..incentive to head down to your local class or join a sangha indeed!!

now, as the years of my practice have eroded and sometimes sand-papered (well it times it can feel like that!!!) the layers of 'stuff' that has been hiding my light from the world, i have reached, what i feel to be, a deep rooted belief, or samskara (the yogic term for an ingrained habit or belief)...i kinda always knew it was lurking beneath and now it has come up to the surface...its a tricky one my friends, as when i feel into it, not seeking to avoid, distract, resist it, it feels uncomfortable, painful and a little (technical term alert!) icky!...what is this?...deep breath...it's my lack of self confidence, belief and value in my own self and worth...phew!!!..i told ya it was a biggy!

so...time to don the warrioress's gown, tighten my belt of power, and put up my shining shield against getting lost down this particular hole!..not this time lil samskara..no i will not run from you...it's time to use the force and go head to head!...and my weapon of choice?...

a mantra...

its been a while since i last used mantras for a specific practice, but nonetheless i am a devoted champion of their magic abilities...this time, i have called upon the mantra for building...erm...self confidence :-)...the late acharya thomas ashley farrand describes his take on this chant:

''...i wish i could give this mantra to every woman who has doubts about her own abilities or her own power. associated with the feminine principle, this mantra produces an extremely powerful effect, giving a sense of one's power, and the wisdom to use that power wisely''

sounds good hey?!

so..here it is..traditionally you would chant this with intention for a period of 40 days...using a mala (108 beads strung together to count), or your fingers..or simply chant this as you go through the day...there is plenty of information available on the web if you are interested in deepening your understanding of working with mantras..though i do recommend thomas farrands book 'healing mantras'

om eim hrim klim chamundayei vichei namaha

(om and salutations to she who is radiant with power and wisdom)

eim=the seed sound for saraswati, the goddess of sounds, the arts, and sciences...she also helps dispel certain types of negative energy

hrim=the seed sound for dissolving illusion, for cleansing, purification and inspiration

klim=the seed sound for attraction and abundance

chamunda=the beautiful aspect of the feminine, which can also be utterly destructive to a wide variety of negative forces and influences

yei= a shakti activating sound

namaha= i place my life at the feet of the highest/ i bow to you

so far i have been chanting this mantra for about 3 weeks and am loving how it seems to open me, lift my heart, and after a period of resistance, gives me a feeling of peacefulness within myself :-)..i will certainly be continuing for the 40 day traditional period and lets see what happens!

being my own champion; belief in who i am and what i offer to the mandala of life; valuing my service to life, my expression and my presence; illuminating with the simplicity of my being; self confidence alongside humility (very important or we end up arrogant...another imbalance to this 3rd chakra energy)...i call in all of these qualities, and i bow in gratitude to the beauty that lies within the potential of each and every one of us...xxx

 

the art of alchemy

 'tears to prayers'...print and cards available from my new etsy shop :-)

'alchemy' is one of my favourite words...like 'serendipity', 'ethereal' (which inspired my hardly ever heard guitar song about ethel real!!), and 'sumptuous', its a word that offers a whole world of whirlwind wonderings...a portal into a new layer of meaning.

traditionally alchemists were the magicians, wizards and witches of olde, their quests for turning one object into another, filled with ritual and scientific speculation, filled their days n nights with endless experimentation...the search for the elusive philosopher's stone the key anchor to their explorations...the philosopher's stone is a legendary substance said to be capable of turning base metals e.g. lead, into gold or silver...it was also sometimes believed to be an elixir of life, useful for rejuvenation and possibly for achieving immortality...for many centuries, it was the most sought-after goal in western alchemy...the philosopher's stone was the central symbol of the mystical terminology of alchemy, symbolizing perfection at its finest, enlightenment, and heavenly bliss. 

for me, the philosopher's stone is a metaphor for the potent potentiality contained within every living cell, of every living thing, be that vegetable, animal or mineral, or, that excruciatingly exquisite human creature that is you or me!

with the power of intention, the furnace of the heart, the key ingredients of authenticity, the feeling body and commitment to the process, each one of us can step into our own finely (or crudely, if that floats ya boat!) laboratory and perform, with a flourish if you prefer, a little bit of magic of our own :-)

each time we step on our mat...every moment we come to sit, open and delightfully human in meditation...with the conscious desire to embody our breath and bones on the dance floor in a dance as meditation practice...and by staying engaged and willing to follow the daimons direction as we put paint to paper, or mould clay by the gentle pulsing of our warm and alive hands...all of these practices, if the 'temperature' of that particular moment in time, and the 'key ingredients' artfully measured are in place, can connect us to the power of the alchemical process.

i had an experience of this only a few hours ago....after teaching my morning class, belly satiated and my fire fuelled with lunch, i came to my cushions to sit...simply sit...i knew i had to, you see, as lately i realise that as soon as i feel slightly 'odd', or 'not quite with it', to use some fine technical terms!, i know that i have somehow disconnected...you know, become unplugged from the source somehow, as if my wiring has gone a little askew...so, without a plan of action, i sat, breathed, and prayed...now, when i use the word 'prayer', i have to say, that its all very low key... in fact, my version of prayer, is simply, talking out loud!...there i said it...we all do it, talk to ourselves...some of us even take this private conversing out onto the streets...though they might be the kind of folk to avoid looking direct into their eyes, or on second glance, they might be talking into one of those fancy phone sets...in any case they look kinda strange!

something amazing happens when i talk out loud (or to give it its fancy name, pray!)...i hear my words, and as i hear them, and receive them, i connect with their resonance...what i mean by that, is that i can feel whether i am telling the truth about my experience, or am talking a load of baloney!!...my words touch me, with their energy and their simplicity..today, i talked about my yearnings at my heart...tears fell and as i softened into them, and offered up all i was feeling, the tenderness of my human self, something began to shift...my heart began to open, to feel expansive, and as a few more big tears emptied from the well within my heart space, and as i cleared out a little more space, i relaxed into a feeling of restfulness, of a sweet joy, and i felt a voice within repeating ''all is well''.

riding on this wave of expansion, i now sit, at a life filled coffee house, and write these words...i feel clearer, more settled, and most importantly, more alive!...something happened this afternoon, something that occurs quite frequently when i come to my practices, whether with enthusiasm and excitement, or having to pull my weary and resistant body and mind into beginning...this something? a little dose of alchemy :-)

so... i would like to offer you a little list of, what i see as, magical, alchemical moments in the life we live...enjoy!

''tears to prayers

runny egg to hardboiled

dancing, yoga, moving the body

pale skin to tanned in the sun

a walk in nature

an orgasm

scissors,glue gun, fabric and glitter

a warm hand on your back

blank canvas to a soul stirring painting

some strings, a wooden instrument and fingers

waltzers

ice to water to steam

the words 'i love you'

the words 'its over'

faces of loved ones

spanish sherry

saying 'yes'

saying 'no'

make up

egg sperm cell baby

zombies

day to night and back again

seeds, sun, water and love

a magic wand

ideas, inspiration, intention, n action 

a new choice

daring to risk

lycra

letting go

gorgeous food into fuel and shit

communicating from the heart

polaroid film

believing

love

xxx