Friday, 30 September 2011

a little night conversation...

its always the hours of the limbo time that awaken some portal of clarity within my soul...typing to you in the darkness, my fingers trusting their way to find the right notes on the far they are doing a fine and worthy job

had to get up outta bed...felt drawn to write...followed this impulse and so i find myself here..the carpet feels warm and soft beneath my folded knees..the sounds of manchester permeate the silence...i reflect

what happened that drew me here? when i should be by the narrowmindedness of the 'shoulds' be asleep in preparation for the weekend retreat i am running this i twisted and restlessly shifted from one pose to another sleep eluding me like a sly mischief maker i began to talk myself so i could the universe as a much missed conversation that has been avoided over the last few days

events over the last few weeks have seen me thrown back down an alley way i thought had been navigated out of my system..caught in this labyrinthe...struggling to find the exit i got stuck...and so without reason or rhyme i began to speak...

i spoke of what i was feeling..i spoke of where i am...of what has held me in a puzzle for days...i named all of it and let my mind pursue the threads of conversation without end, without goal, without the confines of i told my souls tales, insights started to float up, catching them and rolling with them it all began to make sense...the shifts of my dreams and heart desires that i have spoken of before a few posts ago, that have started to transform, became stronger, clearer and with this a sense of excitement and also peace settled in my heart...i touched myself with my attention, and was touched in return...all is coming more into focus...all is as it is meant to be...all is a gift that just needed time to show its treasures...i am blessed

i realised how much i have changed this year...i felt a newness of purpose...i deeply felt the aches of my hearts true desires, the same as but essentially different to the ones i have clung to for what seems like eternity...i saw what i have to do and what i need to let go of...and most of all, blessedly so, i realised how much i am loved

satiated, at peace, in gratitude and in love...i think its time to try that thing called sleep again..hope your dreams are as sweet as your heart this eve... xxx

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