Wednesday, 20 April 2011


what is it about expectation that can cause a rut in the smooth road that we glide joyfully along?
i have been watching this aspect within myself for ever such a long time now, and just when i feel i have risen above the stumbling block of desiring how it should be, i fall once again, clinging fingernails deep into some kind of idea of 'this is what it should look like! this is how it should be!'
lately so much has been shifting and turning in my world. so much change, which i believe is apparent for all of us at such an auspicious time in our planetary evolution. and miraculously (for this lil control freak!), i have simply been sitting back watching all unfold, breathing my way through, a bemused and curious witness to the wonders of life.
i realised recently that all the changes that are happening are ones i have asked for, yet, and this is the clincher(!), they are not in the form i expected them to be in!! no, the essence of my desires and intention is there, but in such a different, and quite honestly, rather impressively refreshing form. who knew!
and yet this week i fell once again into the painful place of wanting it to be a certain way, banging my head (so to speak, as literally doing so would only cause a rather sore head me thinks) against the way it is! so once again i have stepped back, taken a breath, and smiled at the futility of believing i know better. and you know what? instantly i feel better, more relaxed, letting go into the mystery of my life unfolding exactly as its meant to be!

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