yesterday, finding myself alone on xmas day..wait..hold the violins no stringed weeping needed...a choice, a curious venture to see the city streets anew, as if for the first time, awakening a la 28 days later, void of sound and the fluxed feet of flocking hither n wither to a to b and back again...
rain falling flash flooding calling n recalling noahs quest..ark time my dears?...empty streets, ghost town, life on pause for a single moments breath...
seeking the space, between the concrete edges of the linear blocks where 9 to 5 reigns supreme..apart from one day of the year...how did it feel? honestly? kinda the same, yet quieter!!
you see...expectation is a crazy fool...a mind filled full of this is how its gonna be lets ya down...eyes half jaded and made up...i wonder...is it possible to begin a new journey, a fresh canvas, a blank slate of music awaiting to be born armed with a santa ;-) sack of preconceptions?..i fear not...let it go...dont pretend...arm yaself with the innocence of a child eager to say hello to the day that waits unexpected and brand spankingly afresh :-)
whats that gotta do with day 2?...here it is: family time, post xmas dinner, nieces small and mermaids; presents; struggling to remain present; champagne (or 2 or 3...); speaking overlapping symphony of disharmonics; feeling like am 7 again; tickly necks and broken plates; pub with sis n bro; several jack n gingers later (thats daniels n ale to you my friend xx); laughter; dancing to REM; pizza; joint n horror movie awaiting; where am i? who am i? what became of her?? falling into family net and letting myself drop drop drop..for now...and here i am...
am not perfect however much i try to be...facades crash down n in in the tumle drier of close ones...lil moments of heart n surrendering to the now
adios amigos
until manana
xxx
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