40daysbefore40 day 18: make today matter

 

make today matter

and did you?

you see each and every day is a new canvas, a new potential for a differing path...we look out at the world with eyes seemingly samed each day...we see the life we live with the story lined script given to us many moons ago, and how often we sigh wearily as we clothe ourselves with the familiar costume of the well worn character to take our x marked ear marked place on the staged set we call our life

and yet it doesnt have to be this way...we can change the rules, bend them ever so slightly off kilter and edit the worn out script...we can rub our tired eyes awake with the promise of a new perspective, the eyes of the innocent..what does she see?

you see, one of the gifts of this 40 day practice, has been what you dont know my dears...behind the scenes, in the wings awaiting, is the glue that binds this prayer in place...i realise more and more that to be open to receive each day and respond appropriately means that i cannot step outta my flat with olden eyes to view the paving stones, the concrete grey beneath my feet...its interesting but i have to stay innocent, alive, awake to each moment, to notice every player as they saunter, skulk or sulk shadily past, how they move, what they say without their words...i notice the light, the edges of planes before invisible to my half lazy sight...conversations caught in my net to be mulled over, smiled at and forgotten into memory...and the question, the seeking, the openness to what each of you may offer to me as i offer myself out to you

and i am always surprised

its like i need to get outta my own way in order for the feast that is life to be revealed

this practice is teaching me that to hide away in the burlop of my knotted mind is kinda selfish, sort of misses the point, and is wholly useless if i seek to truly and passionately find the holiness of the day...

what a gift!

and so...

today has been a magic filled day:

of possibilities new

of 'yes-es' to the great void of no knowing

of daring to jump in with a hop n a skip into stretching a lil more

of old friends with wide smiles and laughter, of 'nice guy discounts' and ruined reputations, of film ideas and kick starting the revolution creative style! 

of sitting and stillness and shaking vibrations

of rats tales and lands of fairy stories, macabre performance and delights for the soul's memories

of sisterhood and silliness

of flocks of birds asleep in a bare boned tree in the midst of the city night's whirl

of gifted buns

of lounges new, creaking golden doors, and the voluptuous other world all moulin rouge and vampire haunts, of gratuitous membership and sweet hostess's

of familiar love, young boys of a carefully cropped shorn nature, smiles and faces worn by time

of found treasured words when are eyes are open...to remind us...

always it is possible...

to...

 ''make today matter''

and so...did you my friend?

xxx

innocence

springtime...

a time of awakenings...possibilities...hope...tenacity...movement...and innocence

the grass at this time of the year seems young and fresh, there is a bravery in the blossoming of the buds showing all of themselves, a vulnerability that is breathless...they cannot know if the next gust of wind will see them fall...or if a storm may rush thro tearing them from their home on the branch...we can learn from their courage.

i love this time of the year as i feel a renewal within me of anything is possible, of being able to start again...it makes me think that i have now a new choice, to continue the same pattern of living, of tending the habitual tendencies that has caused me suffering in the past, or of stepping into the unknown, of taking a deep breath, and of letting myself see the world as if for the first time...of taking a risk, a different dance forwards, an unchartered belief or thought...i can let go of being lead by the past and stand more deeply in this moment and towards a future that is not yet written...to do this i call upon the strength and magic of reclaiming my innocence.

innocence is a return to the childlike state of not knowing...of starting over and dropping what we think we know...we become empty, yet not needy or wanting, simply pure and content just as we are by the presence and presents of each moment... by the time we grow up we are so beset with the worlds 'knowledge', from schooling, parenting, society, books, teachers, dogma, religion etc...we become full of information, laws, right and wrong, the opinion of this is how it is!..but by reclaiming our innocence once more we can start afresh, tapping into the wisdom that is all around us.

innocence is not ignorance. it is not a place of naiviety or playing dumb...it is a state of wonder and curiousity...an openness to it all, without shutting down, holding back or playing it safe 'just in case'...it is not jaded, nor tired...it is not asleep nor blind...it is a totally open place of receptivity, vulnerability, awareness and beauty.

osho talks of innocence in his book 'maturity' saying:
'whenever you understand that you have missed life, the first principle to be brought back is innocence. drop your knowledge, forget your scriptures, forget your religions, your theologies, your philosophies. be born again, become innocent- and it is in your hands. clean your mind of all that is not known by you, of all that is borrowed, all that has come from tradition, convention. all that has been given to you by others- just get rid of it. once again be simple, once again be a child. and this miracle is possible by meditation.'