40daysbefore40 day 18: make today matter

 

make today matter

and did you?

you see each and every day is a new canvas, a new potential for a differing path...we look out at the world with eyes seemingly samed each day...we see the life we live with the story lined script given to us many moons ago, and how often we sigh wearily as we clothe ourselves with the familiar costume of the well worn character to take our x marked ear marked place on the staged set we call our life

and yet it doesnt have to be this way...we can change the rules, bend them ever so slightly off kilter and edit the worn out script...we can rub our tired eyes awake with the promise of a new perspective, the eyes of the innocent..what does she see?

you see, one of the gifts of this 40 day practice, has been what you dont know my dears...behind the scenes, in the wings awaiting, is the glue that binds this prayer in place...i realise more and more that to be open to receive each day and respond appropriately means that i cannot step outta my flat with olden eyes to view the paving stones, the concrete grey beneath my feet...its interesting but i have to stay innocent, alive, awake to each moment, to notice every player as they saunter, skulk or sulk shadily past, how they move, what they say without their words...i notice the light, the edges of planes before invisible to my half lazy sight...conversations caught in my net to be mulled over, smiled at and forgotten into memory...and the question, the seeking, the openness to what each of you may offer to me as i offer myself out to you

and i am always surprised

its like i need to get outta my own way in order for the feast that is life to be revealed

this practice is teaching me that to hide away in the burlop of my knotted mind is kinda selfish, sort of misses the point, and is wholly useless if i seek to truly and passionately find the holiness of the day...

what a gift!

and so...

today has been a magic filled day:

of possibilities new

of 'yes-es' to the great void of no knowing

of daring to jump in with a hop n a skip into stretching a lil more

of old friends with wide smiles and laughter, of 'nice guy discounts' and ruined reputations, of film ideas and kick starting the revolution creative style! 

of sitting and stillness and shaking vibrations

of rats tales and lands of fairy stories, macabre performance and delights for the soul's memories

of sisterhood and silliness

of flocks of birds asleep in a bare boned tree in the midst of the city night's whirl

of gifted buns

of lounges new, creaking golden doors, and the voluptuous other world all moulin rouge and vampire haunts, of gratuitous membership and sweet hostess's

of familiar love, young boys of a carefully cropped shorn nature, smiles and faces worn by time

of found treasured words when are eyes are open...to remind us...

always it is possible...

to...

 ''make today matter''

and so...did you my friend?

xxx

the art of alchemy

 'tears to prayers'...print and cards available from my new etsy shop :-)

'alchemy' is one of my favourite words...like 'serendipity', 'ethereal' (which inspired my hardly ever heard guitar song about ethel real!!), and 'sumptuous', its a word that offers a whole world of whirlwind wonderings...a portal into a new layer of meaning.

traditionally alchemists were the magicians, wizards and witches of olde, their quests for turning one object into another, filled with ritual and scientific speculation, filled their days n nights with endless experimentation...the search for the elusive philosopher's stone the key anchor to their explorations...the philosopher's stone is a legendary substance said to be capable of turning base metals e.g. lead, into gold or silver...it was also sometimes believed to be an elixir of life, useful for rejuvenation and possibly for achieving immortality...for many centuries, it was the most sought-after goal in western alchemy...the philosopher's stone was the central symbol of the mystical terminology of alchemy, symbolizing perfection at its finest, enlightenment, and heavenly bliss. 

for me, the philosopher's stone is a metaphor for the potent potentiality contained within every living cell, of every living thing, be that vegetable, animal or mineral, or, that excruciatingly exquisite human creature that is you or me!

with the power of intention, the furnace of the heart, the key ingredients of authenticity, the feeling body and commitment to the process, each one of us can step into our own finely (or crudely, if that floats ya boat!) laboratory and perform, with a flourish if you prefer, a little bit of magic of our own :-)

each time we step on our mat...every moment we come to sit, open and delightfully human in meditation...with the conscious desire to embody our breath and bones on the dance floor in a dance as meditation practice...and by staying engaged and willing to follow the daimons direction as we put paint to paper, or mould clay by the gentle pulsing of our warm and alive hands...all of these practices, if the 'temperature' of that particular moment in time, and the 'key ingredients' artfully measured are in place, can connect us to the power of the alchemical process.

i had an experience of this only a few hours ago....after teaching my morning class, belly satiated and my fire fuelled with lunch, i came to my cushions to sit...simply sit...i knew i had to, you see, as lately i realise that as soon as i feel slightly 'odd', or 'not quite with it', to use some fine technical terms!, i know that i have somehow disconnected...you know, become unplugged from the source somehow, as if my wiring has gone a little askew...so, without a plan of action, i sat, breathed, and prayed...now, when i use the word 'prayer', i have to say, that its all very low key... in fact, my version of prayer, is simply, talking out loud!...there i said it...we all do it, talk to ourselves...some of us even take this private conversing out onto the streets...though they might be the kind of folk to avoid looking direct into their eyes, or on second glance, they might be talking into one of those fancy phone sets...in any case they look kinda strange!

something amazing happens when i talk out loud (or to give it its fancy name, pray!)...i hear my words, and as i hear them, and receive them, i connect with their resonance...what i mean by that, is that i can feel whether i am telling the truth about my experience, or am talking a load of baloney!!...my words touch me, with their energy and their simplicity..today, i talked about my yearnings at my heart...tears fell and as i softened into them, and offered up all i was feeling, the tenderness of my human self, something began to shift...my heart began to open, to feel expansive, and as a few more big tears emptied from the well within my heart space, and as i cleared out a little more space, i relaxed into a feeling of restfulness, of a sweet joy, and i felt a voice within repeating ''all is well''.

riding on this wave of expansion, i now sit, at a life filled coffee house, and write these words...i feel clearer, more settled, and most importantly, more alive!...something happened this afternoon, something that occurs quite frequently when i come to my practices, whether with enthusiasm and excitement, or having to pull my weary and resistant body and mind into beginning...this something? a little dose of alchemy :-)

so... i would like to offer you a little list of, what i see as, magical, alchemical moments in the life we live...enjoy!

''tears to prayers

runny egg to hardboiled

dancing, yoga, moving the body

pale skin to tanned in the sun

a walk in nature

an orgasm

scissors,glue gun, fabric and glitter

a warm hand on your back

blank canvas to a soul stirring painting

some strings, a wooden instrument and fingers

waltzers

ice to water to steam

the words 'i love you'

the words 'its over'

faces of loved ones

spanish sherry

saying 'yes'

saying 'no'

make up

egg sperm cell baby

zombies

day to night and back again

seeds, sun, water and love

a magic wand

ideas, inspiration, intention, n action 

a new choice

daring to risk

lycra

letting go

gorgeous food into fuel and shit

communicating from the heart

polaroid film

believing

love

xxx