Saturday, 5 January 2013

40daysbefore40 day 11: red revelations xxx

 where i live...the streets my feet meet as i follow the warm seering glow of 'red' that calls me today...i am in a red mode, spotting and in allure of the hue that violently and delightfully pulls away from the greys of inner city streets...i have a relationship with this city, the home i grew up in, shaped me and made me, the amicable folk who are my community by birth and by choice...far from the sea...far from the sun...the glare of the quirky often nestled uncertain against the familiarity of the known...and yet here i am...and here i accept for now..lets travel down the worm hole a lil deeper dear city...

 how i feel today..wrapped in a thick woven wool of colour you see and she calls to me deeply reminiscent of fire of passion of cherries of blood of sunshine of aliveness...she is in my bones...

 i am looking for love this year...i am saying this aloud to you dear ones...i am open to love this heart is ready...i am ready to dare to seek, to date, to get dressed up and wined and dined and mind meet with you who seeps into my dreams with a tender kiss of that elusive embrace...after 2012 being the year of abstinence i declare this year the year of abundantly juicy adventure, of erotic thrill and voyage, of intimacy between red sheets, between red minds of worlds colliding, of hand holding, of belly butterflies, of being surprised...yes surprised..i put down knowing who you are or what you look like...simply meet me in all of who you be and i will meet you back in all of who i am...there is nothing else to do...

 its the way isnt it...revolution of the heart...opening towards vulnerability, connection, kindness, unity, am i revolting this year? (ha ha no jokes please my cultured amigos ;-)  )..i am accepting myself and my life as it is...i am resisting the call to fight the life i meet moment by moment, a doppelganger ever by my side...whats the point in battling with the what is?! i lay down my weapons at your feet and bow to your beauty...i am loving myself all of myself even the twitchy bits i have sought to stow away in shame or fear...i am seeking to feed me (after being out with some delightfully delicious friends this eve, talks of archery and horseriding lighting up their light, what turns this chica on? what course of life's fruits shall i pick to taste for myself?) time to feed my soul and stop looking outwards somewhere too far a stretch from the length of my soul to hold revolution may seem pithy yet it is mine and it is goddamn it a revolt as far as my past behaviour towards this marvel of life has gone!

 maybe music will be the instrument of choice...last summer, longingly awaiting the moment of liberation from sitting in patience in my living room, my beautiful spanish guitar, a gift from an ex, took up residence in my bed for a few weeks...brandy and guitar...lyrics flowed, of vampires, characters who lived on golden chandeliers, voyages in search of home...all these fell from my fingers onto the strings...and then, just like that, i put my guitar down she has been i am ready once again...perhaps i will share some with you one of these fine days xx

 books...what a gift!...some of my favourites:

the alchemist...paolo coehlo
women who run with the wolves....clarissa pinkola estes
weaveworld....clive barker
the night circus....erin morgenstern
wild...jay griffiths
the red tent...anita diamant
a path with heart....jack kornfield
jonathan strange and mr norrell....susanna clarke
the three incestuous sisters....audrey niffenegger
bringing yoga to life....donna farhi
eat pray love....elizabeth gilbert
dear lover...david deida
painting from the source...aviva gold
maps to ecstasy / sweat your prayers...gabrielle roth
twilight...stephanie meyer
healing mantras...thomas ashley farrand
sun signs...linda goodman
until i find you...john irving
veronika decides to die...paolo coehlo
aphrodite...isabel allende
the invitation...oriah mountain dreamer

what does this year hold behind the red door...the gateway to 40?
to be continued...


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