a prayer
a prayer for the quest of my 40th decade
my fellowship granted upon request
seeking...seeking
i ask for my heart to stretch back its petals
to display its underbelly all raw
exposed
caught in the sun's gunfire
shot by the arrows, not only of cupid
but of time taken trembling into bones
bones filled to the marrow with life
a heart that tore its tears from the tree of hurt
and shaped them, origami style
into tears of sweet ness
of ripened red fig seeds
of toffee sticky plump medjool dates
tears that taste of the sweet sweet sweetness of beauty
of the beauty of an opened soul
stretched back, bare, and bearing it all
to all
i ask for the call to adventure, bundle on stick
all fool hardy, ready to jump over the
edge
the edge and beyond
away from the sure shore
anchor awaiting instruction to drop
drop drop deeper into sands new
i ask for the ocean
not to hold in my hand of course
but to lap at my feet
as i lap up the call to listen
to the wisdom, the soft feminine wisdom
of surrender to its siren call
i ask to follow where my heart points the way
tho others crowd together pointing behind me
i walk among them, through them, touching them
with my fate
as i walk my way, my way, my hearts sway
to land of '?'
to the great unknown
i walk to you
lil step by lil step
taking the only footprints that i can surely call my own
i ask to let go, let it go, let it go
loss washes through me
cleansing and emptying the heavy load
loss lightens me as i lemon squeeze it out
of classes, of students
of a retreat centre where magic happens and the land smiles back
of a nine year courtship of the busy ness of business
of a home and hearth
of a cocoon done coating me with confines of my imagination
alchemy shifting into some thing anew
'yes' i say
'yes'
i am ready
i ask for
tribal pulse beat beating to dancing feet
airs and graces, costume and laces
arias and operas
soil squelchin
soul quenching
the colours of the moon to weave her a tapestry to wear
and the waves of breath to hold it all
i ask for my lover
all arms and sweat
eyes seeing
heart knowing
building his way, our way
on a one way road to forever
i ask for brave heart
for dare to deal
for chance taking and making
the most of time's dialling
as fiercely i pull off the petals
of seeking from another
of what if? and how?
of fears stagnant waters
and of alice potions turning me small
i ask for my voice
clear belly centred
ringing echo of truths
my truths
out into the butterfly winged flutter of it all
i ask for it all
and i ask for nothing
i look upon in serious browed contemplation
and i throw my head back, mouth opened in peals of laughters mirth
i nod and shake my skull
and wonder why i need to know
i offer myself to you
arms akimbo to an angel
i am yours
do with me that you will
only leave me a dram to toast at midnight
i ask
and i am ready
amen
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