untamed wildness
i seek you, beseech you, open my arms and heart to recieve you
daring to live the willingness of wild wide eyed dance
and yet...
today it strikes me that reaching to grasp the wild wiley ways of chance and opportunity, of clasping to the whippets of whispered haunts, of pulling and striving and shouting hoarse to the elements is not necessarily the way
hmmmm
have i been misled?? my mind myopic vision leading me to impossible vistas where i have to stop, curled over with too much breath, with an ache of 'god are we nearly there yet??!!' crushing my side...stepping stepping stepping is all very well but how about a pause in the precedings hey? a chance to rest and play catch up, to catch oneself again with relief, with a homing instinct
day 19 and it strikes me that am seeking the extraordinary...dammit!! always seeking the bloody impossible extraordinary!...of trampling over 'enough' without hearing its soft tones...so...today i lowered my eyes, went about my saturday business, toasted to life anew, looked up and noticed the blue in the sky, bought a couple of items of clothing in bargain vintage shoppe, chose some avacadoes and vine ripened tomatoes, ate a sandwich, sat on the couch in silence just because, shared words with a southern goddess, bath waiting...all just is as it is...simple, quiet, and ordinary...blessedly bountifully ordinary
what a goddamn relief
today i feel like soothing the brow of all those saying 'keep going, dont stop now!'...of 'shhhhushing' at the noise and clammer of the television...of asking politely for the city folk doing their weekend thang to please keep it down a little...maybe close the shutters, stop the clock, and just do nothing!
aaahhh!
you see i have been thinking of 'untamed wildness' and what that means to me...it pulls me certainly but maybe i have been mistaken...maybe i dont need to shout the loudest...maybe its a lot more simple than that...maybe, for today, wildness means to me:
*napping...long leisurely sessions a la cat style with no reason to be on a vertical plane
*pyjamas at 7pm on a saturday night
*crisps in a bowl on my lap
*no tv, no music, no sound bar my breath
*cheese and bread and salad
*hot water with lemon and honey
*a conversation about sweaters with my dad
*looking at old photos and smiling at memories passed
*a bath with bubbles
*no where else i would rather be
:-)
just because..id like to add some other ways to rock that wildness vibe...
*wearing my flamenco dress and leather high heeled sandals in the flat from time to time
*mooching around comic stores
*sitting by my favourite lake in my favourite home grown park
*dancing barefoot alone or in class
*actually going barefooted almost anywhere in nature
*being outside, by the sea, in the mountains, with the trees and birds and sounds of the animal world, and the sun/ wind/ rain (delete where appropriate) on my skin
*meeting new folk
*collecting sea shells by the shore (one of my all time most favourite activities ever!)
*people watching (this works anywhere though the mediterranean particularly so ;-) )
*juicy tubes of paint and fine tipped pens...yum!
*the wee dark hours when all is asleep but my creative mind wakes up
*amazing heart felt films and art of this raw soul nature
*bodywork practices where i feel my sensual aliveness and juicy spirit
*good company and tear forming laughter
*cooking
*reading a good book
*meditating
*having a brandy n coke with friends
*dressing up as a zombie
*talking to my plants
*lying in bed limbo world dreaming
*cuddling up with teddy :-)
hmmmm...actually anything that gives me great pleasure, that works for me, however small and seemingly mundane, is a web of wildness for me...my choices...my soul being fed...my time used however i want to use it...untamed wildness?..permission to be my beautiful self :-)
give yourself up to the simple ordinary pleasures of life
and just...be xxxxxx
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