40daysbefore40 day 32: three lil questions

''in the stress and complexity of our lives, we may forget our deepest intentions. but when people come to the end of their life and look back, the questions that they most often ask are not usually, 'how much is in my bank account?', or 'how many books did i write?' or 'what did i build?' or the like. if you have the priviledge of being with a person who is aware at the time of his or her death, you find the questions such a person asks are very simple:

'did i love well?'

'did i live fully?'

'did i learn to let go?'  ''

('a path with heart'  jack kornfield)

 why wait?

why wait until the moments of life's dew drops are dripping their last nectar into the palm of your hand?

surely, these are the questions we can ask ourselves, perhaps, need to ask ourselves as we lay down to rest at the end of each precious day...

do we not hear so many of those stories, of folk, having faced near death themselves, or affected by someone close moving on into the great unknown, suddenly unleashing a new vitality, as if having consumed some secret elixir that gives the answer to life's everyday concerns and mundanities?

quite frankly we have no fucking idea when our last breath will be...there is a yogic idea that we are all born with a certain number of breaths, and i dont know about you, but i never received my number at the time of birth...a coded message that would speak to that deeper part of our self to wake up, make the most of it all, and live, feel and open our hearts, hands and eyes to this beautiful, mysterious, complex, random, infuriating, disappointing, merciless, merciful and strange creature called life!

when is it time to stop and take stock?...to note if our journey is noteworthy?...to glance up and out of our navels at the snow falling sky?...to turn away from that which numbs us, pulling us to sleep the waking sleep?...a lil like being a zombie perhaps?!

i am currently reading and thoroughly enjoying a zombie book...'warm bodies'...i gifted my sis with a few years back and she has lent it to me to read...sat on my shelf for some time, it was only after noticing that there is now a movie of said name, that i decided to pick up and consume...its a heartfelt book, particularly for its genre, but it is told from the point of view of a zombie boy...and it is quite, astonishingly beautiful...you see he falls for a living girl, restraining from eating her brains, he rescues her and so begins a new awakening for him...it is poignant as, how many of us are sleep walking our way through our days, weeks, and years, drugging ourselves and passing time?...the lead character in this book has a chance to start anew, and his growing into life, and his renewed connection to and desire for living and experiencing these shared moments of beauty, are very tender and surprisingly moving

as i face my last weekend of my thirties these are the questions i wish to sit with and reflect upon over the next few days...in order to know what it is i wish to create and what path to follow in this new decade ahead of me, i need to have looked squarely at my life so far...to see where i have honoured and held the graced moments close to my, thankfully, beating heart...to celebrate the times of joy and wonder that have touched me into deep heart bliss opening...to also bear in witness to that which is lost, lost dreams and hopes that fade away with the decade gone by...and to surrender, put down, that which no longer serves me, the stones i can remove from my pockets in the wisdom that i need no more carry them over the threshold...

it doesnt matter what i create next...where i place my feet...which direction the finger of knowing turns me towards...it does matter that i am there for this trip, and the things that matter most of all to a well lived and richly nourishing blessed life

so...my journey with these three lil questions commences this quest from manana...

til then...

xxx